she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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