well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize