Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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