He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize