grandma shit on top of the toilet
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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