he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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