I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize