THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
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We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
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And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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