I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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