Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize