Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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