He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize