and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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