Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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