i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize