Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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