Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize