I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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