So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
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I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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