drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
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i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
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I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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