no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
is it fun? or sober?
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