Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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