also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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