Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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