i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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