I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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