What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Blood and glitter go together right?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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