Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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