A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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