The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
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I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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