Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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