So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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