i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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