last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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