Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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