She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
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I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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