why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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