im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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