is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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