WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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