he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My bed smells like the plague
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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