I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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