i would punch a child for taco bell
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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