Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize