Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize