Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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