and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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