This is not my ceiling
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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