also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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