so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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